Updated: Sep 7, 2019
For you Sis, I Love You, Always
For those who know me personally, and are close to me on social media, know that I just lost two very special women in my life. My one and only Sister due to metastatic breast cancer, and my Grandmother, who although was already struggling with declining health, I feel passed when she no longer felt my Sister's presence here on this earthly plane - they were very close. Feeling the magnitude of these losses so closely together made the entire world feel as if it had started to crumble beneath my feet. I'm still processing these losses, and thankfully I have a very good support system with a loving husband, beautiful children, and other family and friends who have been there for me. As an introvert, processing this type of pain is even more difficult for me. I have had to really fight not wanting to simply withdrawal myself and literally disappear. It's a pain that runs deep, and anyone who has experienced the loss of loved ones knows exactly what I mean. The roller coaster of emotions; going from happy memories, to regret, then delving into deep sadness, and even anger. It's been a very challenging few weeks, and I will always consider the year 2018 as the year I lost a major part of my heart and soul.
My Beautiful Grandmother, and my Kickass little Nephew
My Father, my Awesome Nephew, my Incredible Grandmother
My artwork has now truly become therapy at this point, and I find myself just sitting in my studio thinking of all the things I'd like to create to honor and memorialize the lives of these two very special women. Without having an outlet, I don't even know if it would be possible to even attempt to regain some type of normalcy. When we are allowed time to prepare for loss, such as an elderly person, there is a bit more comfort knowing they got to live out their entire life when they leave us. My sister was taken too early, and at just 52, she had way more to offer this world - and that is the hardest part to accept.
My Amazingly Beautiful Sister, I Love you Always
My next piece will be dedicated to them both, and I'm not even sure I will be auctioning it off or putting it up for sale. It will be a piece that I intend to put my whole heart and soul into, a piece that honors both of these beautiful souls, and will hopefully help me continue my healing process.
The name of the piece will be "The Bond", because that is what I feel connects us all. The bonds we make with each other in this life, and the pain of losing that bond when it's broken.
The one thing my Sister did in her life was bring into the world her beautiful children, and even took in a child that wasn't even her own. As a little girl growing up, she was not only my big sister, she was a light in my rather dark world. I feel, in a lot of ways, I was actually her first child, and I knew, even when our bond was challenged by the selfishness and resentment of others, that it was the strongest thing on this earth. My Grandmother was the iron fist in the family. She was always the one who put the record straight, and I still remember her words, "Enough is Enough". I'll never forget either of them, and through our bond, they will truly live on forever.